Waiting Around For Her

Copyright © 2007 Kathy Stafford, All Rights Reserved

Many of us have experienced what it's like to have a relationship end and to have our girlfriend leave us. When that happens, if we're not ready for to let the relationship go, we find ourselves asking just how long we should wait around for her.

There's no tried and true answer to this dilemma. For some people, a week is long enough. For others, it can be a month or even longer. It's all up to you and how long you are willing to stick around to see if something can be salvaged.

Naturally, it's going to help if you know why she left. Did she leave because of something that you did or something that you didn't do? Make sure that you're honest about her reasons for leaving, though. If she left because she said that you didn't spend enough time with her, but the truth is that you spent just about every waking moment with her, there's something going on that she might not want to admit. You'll have to address this before you head back into the relationship – if you ever do.

Rare is the break-up that has only one person at fault. If you're honest, there are probably reasons that it ended on your part, too. Make sure that you're honest with why you're where you are.

Now, you have to remember that she's left you once. Does that mean it's never going to happen again? If you're honest with yourself, you probably know that even if she comes back, there's a good chance that she'll treat you the same way she did before the two of you split up. As a matter of fact, she might wind up treating you even worse, figuring that you're still going to take her back, no matter what.

So, if she's left you, you need to figure out if you should even be waiting around at all. To be honest, even if you're head over heels in love with this girl, the last thing in the world you should be doing is letting her know that you're there waiting for her. Instead, you might consider dating someone on a casual basis. If that's more than you're willing to do, find ways to occupy your time – go out with friends, join a social group, take some evening courses. By doing this, you're showing her that you're moving on with your life and she's not holding any power over you.

When this happens, you find yourself in a position of having more control over the relationship.

Always remember that women know when they have a man who worships them. Even if they don't intend to treat him badly, sometimes they get a little thoughtless. They think he's always going to be there for them, always going to be forgiving them.

Do you really want to be that guy?

So, what do you do if she says she wants to get back together with you?

First, you play it cool. You don't immediately take her back and let her know that things are going to be the same as they were. Remember what she put you through, and think long and hard before you make the decision to take her back. If you decide you want her back, make sure that you have a say in how the relationship is defined.

If she breaks up again, walk away from her and don't ever look back. Instead, focus your efforts on finding someone who is going to love you and appreciate you, and not someone who is going to use you.

About The Author:

Kathy Stafford, Relationship Coach, “I show singles how to get married and couples how to STAY married” Do you want more from your relationship? Go to http://www.dearkathy.com/ for relationship articles, advice, and programs. Get Kathy’s new book, “Relationship Remorse: Mistakes Women Make When Shopping for a Man.” and learn the right way to find a loving and committed life-partner. Order the book at http://www.relationshipremorse.com/ Copyright © 2007 Kathy Stafford / dearkathy.com. All rights reserved.

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